It’s been a long time since the McMartin Eight have been in the same place, at the same time.
Within this group of four adult siblings (and their spouses), half have moved away from the family’s roots in Montreal, Quebec. Some live and work in Victoria, a short flight from Vancouver, British Columbia. Others are raising families in Ottawa, Ontario. But with two aging parents to care for, the group now talks more often than ever before.
“We actually laugh a lot,” concedes Rose, the first-born McMartin. “If there’s anything we’ve learned from this experience of navigating dementia with our father, and obsessive compulsive disorder —OCD — with our mother, it’s that we need to talk about what’s happening. We need to share what we’re seeing, and we need to find lightness and levity as well.”
That renewed closeness among the siblings and siblings-in-law (who range in age from 40 to 50) keeps them going as they share health updates on both parents, and details from visits. While their father recently moved into a facility, their mother is still living on her own. Keeping the lines of communication open amongst the group, as well as with professional caregivers and healthcare providers, has proven to be absolutely critical.
“None of us have ever been here before,” says Ryan, the youngest brother in the gang. “Through trial and error we’ve streamlined communications and that’s helping. I get regular updates from my dad’s caregivers and doctors and I share that on in a group chat with my siblings and our partners. My sister does the same for my mother. That way, everything is centralized in one place and we can make informed decisions.”
This isn’t always an easy process for millions of people just like the McMartins, caring for aging seniors in cities Canada-wide. By 2040, older adults are projected to make up close to one-fourth of Canada’s population. The cohort aged 85 and older is expected to see particularly steep growth. At TheKey Canada, Head of Canada Division Timothy Thomas sees the way that demographic shift is already changing life for families like the McMartins.
“We founded our senior care organization in Montreal more than 20 years ago to provide holistic, personalized elder and in-home senior care for people wanting to age in place,” Thomas says. “Communication has always been a huge priority for us. We understand that people need a consistent and comprehensive understanding of how their loved one is doing in order to support the aging journey and gain a necessary sense of reassurance.”
With that in mind, Thomas says TheKey maintains direct lines between regular caregivers and families. Client Success Managers provide regular updates and serve as liaisons, collaborating with caregivers and family members to identify opportunities, notice shifts and adapt plans. All of this is geared to support TheKey’s Balanced Care MethodTM in action.
“When we talk about client wellbeing, that includes the adult children or other relatives who are involved in the aging journey,” Thomas says. “Here, we work together to share information back and forth so that everyone feels confident in the care. With 24/7 oversight, families can always reach us.”
Looking forward, TheKey will incorporate new platforms to further streamline communications for families. “We have clients whose adult children live out of town or even overseas. Families just like the McMartins criss-cross the country, travel for work, look after their own kids. We are always adapting our communications to make it as easy as possible for people to know how their loved one is doing, in real time.,” Thomas says.
For example, if a caregiver notices a senior isn’t eating much, they’ll try to get to the heart of why. That could include chatting with relatives to see who’s noticed what, and finding resolutions together. Communications like this go both ways. Let’s say a relative notices a loved one has been mentioning the holidays. They might reach out to see if a caregiver could help put up some decorations. All of that becomes possible when lines of communication remain open and fluid.
For families like the McMartins, communicating in these ways has been essential to managing their parents’ evolving conditions over the last few years. Strong communication channels help them cope, all while dialing down stress and improving caregiving overall.